---
title: "Medusa Opens Hair Salon, Promises 'Looks That Will Petrify You'"
description: "Gorgon's new salon offers the most permanent hairstyles in the industry — literally"
pubDate: 2026-02-28
author: "Mythical Beauty Review"
tags: ["humor", "business", "mythology"]
---

# Medusa Opens Hair Salon, Promises 'Looks That Will Petrify You'

After centuries of unemployment and "severe misrepresentation in the media," Medusa has opened a hair salon in downtown Portland called "Stone Cold Gorgeous."

## The Concept

"Everyone always focused on the turning-people-to-stone thing," Medusa explained from behind a pair of very dark sunglasses. "Nobody ever asked if my snakes could do a decent blowout. Spoiler: they can. Each one has been individually trained in a different technique."

The salon offers a range of services:

- **The Classic Gorgon**: Full head of living, hissing curls
- **The Medusa Bob**: Shorter snakes, very manageable
- **The Perseus**: An ironic undercut (very popular)
- **Stone Finish Gel**: A proprietary product that gives "an absolutely rock-solid hold"

## Safety Measures

The salon has implemented several safety protocols:

- All styling chairs face away from Medusa
- Mirrors are strictly prohibited (a "unique selling point," per the website)
- Customers sign a 47-page liability waiver
- A licensed de-petrification specialist is on call

"We've only had three incidents," Medusa noted. "And two of those were people who ignored the 'DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT' signs. The third was a health inspector."

## Reviews

The salon has earned a cult following:

"My hair has never looked better. I literally cannot move my head because the style is so perfectly locked in place." - ★★★★★

"Went in for a trim, came out as a garden statue for 45 minutes. But after they reversed it, my hair was AMAZING." - ★★★★☆

## Expansion Plans

Medusa is considering franchising, with locations planned for Austin and Brooklyn. She's also developing a line of hair products called "Gorgon Gorgeous," with the tagline: "Hair so good, you'll be frozen in place."

Her sisters Stheno and Euryale will manage the new locations. "It's a family business now," Medusa said, adjusting a particularly feisty cobra that was trying to eat the interviewer's microphone.
